What is Reality Therapy anyway?
Some therapist, not all, have a theory that they follow in order to help guide their sessions. For me, this theory is Reality Therapy. Therapists don't really “pick” their theory, but rather the theory picks the therapist. Each and everyone of us has a belief about life, the reason for behavior, and how we became who we are. Reality therapy matched up with me as it believes that all behaviors are chosen and therefore can be changed. Because of this, Reality Therapy also does not believe in pathologizing people by giving diagnoses (because of insurance, there does need to be a diagnosis on file though).
Let's start with the most important part of Reality Therapy, shall we?
The 5 basic needs. The 5 basic needs are needs that all of us have. They are:
Love and belonging- This focuses on relationships with everyone, including friends and family, co-workers, teachers, and even pets.
Survival- This covers the standard needs of food and shelter, including psychological needs, such as feeling safe and secure.
Fun- More than just a good outing, this says that people need to experience pleasure, humor, relaxation, and learning that they find interesting and satisfying.
Power- This doesn't mean that everyone seeks to achieve some domineering presence but rather says that people want to make some difference that allows them to leave behind a legacy.
Freedom- This need says that people need to feel as though they have autonomy in their daily lives and their creative lives.
We often find ourselves unsatisfied or in emotional distress when we don't make responsible AND effective decisions in regards to our 5 basic needs. For example, let's say there's a teenager who has decided to sneak out of his parents home and attend a party where there will be alcohol and weed. The teen has a great time, he's with his buddies. He's getting his Love and Belonging and Fun fill; however, it's neither responsible or effective. It's not responsible because he snuck out of the house and is doing illegal actions. It’s ineffective because although it's filling his Fun and Love and Belonging right now, he is going to be depleted of it when he gets home and his parents are waiting up for him with a sentence of “you're grounded for 3 months!”
Quality Vs Perceived World
William Glasser, the creator of Reality Therapy, believed that each person has a quality world in their minds of goals that they want to achieve and the life that they want to live. These goals and life style need to have at least one of the basic needs involved in it.
The perceived world looks at the combination of past experiences and your background. Basically, each person you have encountered and all experiences you have had get filed away into a folder that makes up your past and has made you who you are.
The Comparing Place
The Comparing Place is simply comparing the world that you want to have (quality world) with the world that you currently have (perceived world). The closer the two align the healthier and happier you will be.
The WDEP Model
One way that Reality Therapy helps to guide me in therapy is by using the WDEP model. Honestly, you have probably done this a time or two without really ever thinking about it.
W- What is it that you want? (What basic needs are you trying to fill?)
D- what are you doing to get that need filled?
E- Evaluate whether it is working or not
P- If it's not working then make an alternative plan.
I use this a lot in my therapy sessions. I also encourage my clients to start thinking in these terms.
External vs. Internal Control
Glasser believes that we make our best attempt at meeting our needs based on the information we have. That being said, Glasser also wants us to be objective and look at our decisions and see if the way we are meeting our needs are getting us closer to our goals or farther away.
This is just a quick overview of Reality Therapy and I hope it helps you to understand how I approach therapy. If you have any questions, let me know during session and I'll do my best to explain further.
Healing thoughts,
Presley
